Wednesday 2 August 2017

हाइकु रचनाएँ :- 1

हाइकु रचनाएँ। 
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आतंकी साया 
दो कबूतर साथ 
अमरनाथ
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दोहन वृत्ति 
भूकंप बाढ़ वृष्टि 
नग्न धरती
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फाल्गुन पक्ष 
ताज़े खिलते फूल 
चित्रक दक्ष
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हरित रास 
पुष्पों का मधुमास 
नव सृजन
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सूर्य उदय 
तटबंध किनारे 
साधक सारे

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सर्वाधिकार सुरक्षित /त्रिभवन कौल

12 comments:

  1. Via fb/TL
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    अकेला इलाहाबादी
    बहुत सुंदर।
    August 2 at 10:41pm
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    Hema Pandey लाजवाब
    August 2 at 11:05pm
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    Nanda Noor
    उम्दा*#
    August 2 at 11:05pm
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    डॉ किरण मिश्रा
    वाह,वाह
    August 2 at 11:17pm
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    Suresh Pal Verma Jasala
    वाह आदरणीय बहुत सुंदर
    August 2 at 11:27pm
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    Rekha Joshi
    वाह
    August 2 at 11:34pm
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    गुप्ता कुमार सुशील
    वाहह अनुपम उद्गार आदरणीय.🙏
    August 3 at 2:11am
    --------------------------

    ReplyDelete
  2. via fb/युवा उत्कर्ष साहित्यिक मंच
    ----------------------------
    Kviytri Pramila Pandey
    वाहहहहह अतिसुंदर
    August 2 at 10:35pm
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    Prince Mandawra
    अति शानदार गजब
    August 2 at 10:39pm
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    Raj Kishor Pandey
    वाह बहुत सुंदर
    August 2 at 11:16pm
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    Sharda Madra
    वाह अद्भुत हाइकु सृजन।बधाई।
    August 3 at 6:22am
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    Chanchala Inchulkar Soni
    लाज़वाब हाइकु 👍👍👌👌
    सादर _/\_
    August 3 at 6:55am
    ------------------------

    ReplyDelete
  3. Indira Sharma
    Umda
    August 3 at 3:47pm
    --------------------via fb/TL

    ReplyDelete
  4. Comments via fb/Poetry Junction
    Rakesh Dogra
    बहुत सुन्दर
    August 3 at 12:22pm
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    Indu Gupta
    Bahut sunder
    August 3 at 1:20pm
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    Anubhuti Bharadwaj
    सुंदर छवियाँ उकेरी हैं - अज्ञेय जी की हाइकू याद आ गईं !
    August 4 at 1:40pm
    ---------------------

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ranjana Verma
    बहुत सुन्दर
    August 4 at 9:56am
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    Yashodhara Singh
    वाह ...बहुत सुंदर सृजन ...!!
    August 4 at 10:03am
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    Vijay Anand
    अत्युत्तम हाइकू
    August 4 at 10:07am
    -------------------via fb/मुक्तक-लोक

    ReplyDelete

  6. Rajesh Srivastava
    सराहनीय हायकु
    August 3 at 12:08pm
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    Chanchala Inchulkar Soni
    बहुत बढ़िया
    August 3 at 4:24pm
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    Rajnee Ramdev
    बहुत सुंदर
    August 3 at 4:47pm
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    नीलोफ़र नीलू
    बहुत सुंदर हाइकु आदरणीय त्रिभवन कौल जी😊💐
    August 3 at 5:40pm
    ---------------------via fb/Purple Pen

    ReplyDelete
  7. Satbir Chadha
    Wonderful
    August 3 at 12:36pm
    ------------------via fb/PAU

    ReplyDelete
  8. Namita Kichlu भस्म हो गया,
    ढेर में बारूद के
    धरा का स्वर्ग।
    नमिता 'प्रकाश'
    August 5 at 5:55am

    ReplyDelete
  9. वसुधा कनुप्रिया
    अत्यंत सुन्दर हाइकु सृजन आदरणीय । सादर नमस्कार
    August 4 at 11:25pm
    ---------------------------
    Kavita Bisht
    Bahut khub
    -------------------via fb/Purple Pen

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anup Saxena
    बहुत ख़ूबसूरत अंदाज़े-बयाँ है, ज़माने के हालात का!
    हार्दिक बधाई.
    August 4 at 10:47pm
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    Pratibha Sharma
    बहुत सुंदर
    August 5 at 11:04am
    --------------------via fb/आगमन ...एक खूबसूरत शुरुआत

    ReplyDelete
  11. Discussion via fb/Delhi Poetree
    --------------------------------
    Amit Dahiyabadshah
    Teen pankti khoob bhaayein
    Ati sundar kshanikaye
    haiku kyune kehlaye
    +++
    Now its a Haiku Trib huzoor (5,7,5)
    Hai hai haiku, kshanika kyune kehlaye?
    /:-}D
    August 4 at 11:34pm
    +++
    Amit Dahiyabadshah
    Tribhawan Kaul sahib
    August 4 at 3:49am
    +++
    Tribhawan Kaul
    हिंदी में हाइकू पसंद करने के लिए आप का हार्दिक धन्यवाद। :)
    August 3 at 10:22pm
    +++
    Tribhawan Kaul
    Amit ji . Namaskar. "How its a Haiku Trib huzoor (5,7,5)?" Unlike syllable counts in Japnese Haikus, in hindi we have vern/akshr count. We should have akshar in each line in the same counting as in haiku i.e.जापानी हाइकू विधा को हिंदी में कुछ इस तरह से...See More
    August 4 at 8:44am
    +++
    Tribhawan Kaul
    Now coming to kshnikayen (क्षणिकाएं) these are short poems in free verses ( no syllable/akshar count) but if possible, making a statement within/upto 50-60 words:)
    August 4 at 9:15am
    +++
    Tribhawan Kaul
    I know you know far better than I yet.....I hope I have answered your query to your satisfaction. :)
    August 4 at 9:12am
    +++
    Tribhawan Kaul
    I am little preplexed at the emoji of sadness above in reply to my comment.:) _/\_ :)
    August 4 at 9:16am
    +++
    Amit Dahiyabadshah
    Haiku may syllables ginay jayenge na ki akshar Trib sahib. Alphabets and words have no relevance in a sple haiku of 5.7.5. Your poems are beautiful kshanikas why diminish them with a name that simply does not apply. Heres a bilingual haiku for you Trib sahib
    August 4 at 11:31pm
    +++
    Amit Dahiyabadshah
    Kaan chhed kara lo
    A young girls first taste of pain
    A promise of more
    August 4 at 11:33pm
    +++
    Tribhawan Kaul
    Amit Dahiyabadshah Well. Can't go against the established & prevalent practice so far as Haikus writing in Hindi is concerned. We may agree to disagree. :)
    August 5 at 9:58pm
    +++
    Tribhawan Kaul http://www.abhivyakti-hindi.org/rach.../2005/hindi_haiku.htm
    August 5 at 9:58pm
    +++
    Tribhawan Kaul
    Kshnikayen has its own charm and a unique way of expressing a thought. No issues on this. :)
    August 5 at 10:01pm
    +++
    Amit Dahiyabadshah
    I cant understand why anyone writing good poetry in one language would want to rename its form by borrowing from another language. Pl lets not have an argument on something so fundamentally flawed in definition
    August 5 at 10:40pm
    +++
    Tribhawan Kaul
    Yes. No issues at all :)
    August 5 at 10:39pm
    +++
    Amit Dahiyabadshah
    The Amarnath kshanika is one of the finest poems ever written on that subject Trib sahib. A splendid kshanika indeed and worth inspiring younger poets on how to write a lovely kshanika.
    August 5 at 10:44pm
    +++
    Tribhawan Kaul
    Amit Dahiyabadshah Coming from you Amit ji. It means a lot. :)
    August 5 at 10:47pm
    -------------------------------via fb/Delhi Poetree

    ReplyDelete
  12. via fb/Delhi Poetree (Complete comment conneted to fifth comment above.)
    --------------------
    Tribhawan Kaul
    Amit ji . Namaskar. "How its a Haiku Trib huzoor (5,7,5)?" Unlike syllable counts in Japnese Haikus, in hindi we have vern/akshr count. We should have akshar in each line in the same counting as in haiku i.e.जापानी हाइकू विधा को हिंदी में कुछ इस तरह से अपनाया गया है। 5-7-5.हाइकु सत्रह (१७) अक्षर में लिखी जाने वाली सबसे छोटी कविता है। इसमें तीन पंक्तियाँ रहती हैं। प्रथम पंक्ति में ५ अक्षर, दूसरी में ७ और तीसरी में ५ अक्षर रहते हैं। संयुक्त अक्षर को एक अक्षर गिना जाता है, जैसे 'सुगन्ध' में तीन अक्षर हैं - सु-१, ग-१, न्ध-१) तीनों वाक्य अलग-अलग होने चाहिए। अर्थात एक ही वाक्य को ५,७,५ के क्रम में तोड़कर नहीं लिखना है। बल्कि तीन पूर्ण पंक्तियाँ हों। Remaining it is like Japanes haiku so far as presenting a visualisation (बिम्ब ) is concerned.:)
    Like · Reply · August 4 at 8:44am
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